LEFT BEHIND

2014 / Director. Viic Armstrong.
Review by Glenn Cochrane.

This review is written from an atheist's point of view and I find it hilarious that I feel compelled to make such a disclaimer when the same respect is rarely afforded in return. Nevertheless I appreciate that people hold a multitude of beliefs and I have no interest in upsetting anyone for no reason. LEFT BEHIND is based on a series of Christian novels, which have previously been adapted into a direct-to-video franchise starring Kirk Cameron. Nicholas Cage is on the record stating that he refuses to discuss religion to the media as he doesn't want it to obscure his work. So what in the name of God is he doing in this LEFT BEHIND reboot? He has truly sunk to an all new low, which is astonishing when you consider the shit he has churned out over the past decade. The story is about the Rapture and Cage plays a pilot en-route to London from New York when the Rapture hits. People (presumedly those pure of heart) simply vanish into thin air. The entire planet has been struck and multiples of million of people are gone. Left behind are those not worthy enough to ascend to heaven and they're left to endure seven years of darkness. Ignoring the Christian context of the film is easy enough... heck, cinema is all about fantasy and what greater fantasy than the Bible? But LEFT BEHIND is so poorly made that I wonder how many Christians would also be offended by it? Is the film made for believers or nonbelievers because it sure as Hell won't convert anyone and the characters of faith are portrayed as crazy nutters. So not only is the story and its message conflicted but everything else about it is terrible. The performances are hammy and half-arsed and the set design is cheap and flimsy. I felt like I was watching a cross between an Asylum movie and a Hallmark film of the week. Nicolas Cage spends the majority of the film sitting in a cockpit that looks as though it were built in someone's garage with a green screen behind it. Watching him trying to act amongst so much shoddiness made me wonder how bad his personal finances really were? Why on Earth did he sign on for this? The film's female lead (Ashley Tisdale) spends most of the film refuting religion. She asks the regular Atheist questions such as what sort of God would create such a horrible world? What kind of God would let Children die of starvation and famine... and so on. And yet her questions go unanswered and the resolution is as simple as "God is great" and despite half of humanity ascending to the heavens, she DOES end up believing in God but she doesn't think any more highly of him. Look, I don't mind that Christian films exist. It's all fantasy to me but if I were religious then I would be rightfully pissed off that films made for people like myself were consistently terrible. --- SPOILER ALERT. HIGHLIGHT BLANK TEXT TO REVEAL --- There is one saving grace, however, which involves a midget being thrown from the place. Boy can those little guys bounce!!! 
LEFT BEHIND IS HILARIOUSLY BAD!

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