BAD JOHNSON

2014 / Director. Huck Botko.
Review by Glenn Cochrane.

I had two movies lined up and gave my partner the option of which to watch. One was BAD JOHNSON and the other was NOAH. I told her that we could either watch a movie about a dick or a movie starring a dick. She looked at the running time to see whether she was in the mood for a long dick or a short dick. She opted for the short one and so we went ahead and watched BAD JOHNSON. When something doesn't work it usually gets thrown away. BAD JOHNSON ought to be thrown away. This awful one joke movie is jam packed with jokes that NEVER hit the mark and are never in the least bit funny. It tells the story of a sex-crazed guy whose penis is always getting him into trouble. Whether it's a nightclub quickie of a back seat blowie, he cannot resist an opportunity and his life is controlled by his wang. When he wishes his dick would leave him alone, he wakes up the next morning to find that his dong is gone. The phone rings and his prick is on the other end. Now taking on a human form, his Johnson needs to learn the human way. Holy shit this is a crap movie. I always try to find the good within the bad when I watch movies but I was tapped out with this peice of shit. I didn't laugh once and constantly fought the temptation of using the remote control. 40 minutes into the movie and I had no choice but to concede. I couldn't hack it and so I shut that fucker down. It will very likely make my list of 2014's worst movies. 

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